okay pat passed out under dana's car
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
