The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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