I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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