So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm sobbing to NWA
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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