# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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