Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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