Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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