I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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