if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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