I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
