In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
