:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
