I'm eating all of the evidence.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Text me some of your sweat
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
