Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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