It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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