Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
