she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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