I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
