i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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