Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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