too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
