Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
