There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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