Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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