Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize