Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize