operation harelip BJ is a go
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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