He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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