Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
