Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You left your underwear on the fireplace
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
