Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
