You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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