Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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