it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
