i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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