I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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