Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
how drunk are you?
Several
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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