Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
