My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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