just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
