Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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