Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
