all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Randomize
