stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize