I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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