cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
