Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
