The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
This couple is walking their pig around campus
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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