That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
