OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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