she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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