i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
