I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
