You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
