dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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