i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
