i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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