why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
