Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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