literally had 100 drinks last night.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
