he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
