come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
