Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i've created a new STD.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize