the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
