Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
