Christians are straight up FREAKS
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
