why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize