I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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