either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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