after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize