Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
