idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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