you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My liver just had a heart attack.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
