Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize