Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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