just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
