I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
